Haiku for Mothers :)

She is the first one

To wake up in the morning

To prepare our meal

Even ignoring

The drowsiness one can feel

Of a few hours' sleep

She cooks our breakfast

From fried eggs to hot hotdogs

For she is our chef

She washes our clothes

To make them clean and so soft

For the next day's use

Our messy rooms cleaned

By her only bare hands

As we enjoy life

She is always there

If not, WILL try to be there

For that's what she is

A mother and wife

For her children and husband

Haha no Hi guys!!

made while playing Perfect World

based on the week of doing duty in the OR/DR and OB ward :D

Baby A

(19 weeks old)

June 7, 2011

Hi mama, I hope you'll get well soon. You seem very weak these past few days.

I really enjoyed that ride with you. It was really nice to get away for a while from that really smelly place and really strange people wearing silly hats on their heads. I was actually a bit worried when I heard something outside making a strange noise. Like it was trying to see me inside you.

Hope you get well mama! I love you!

June 8, 2011

Ma? Why are we here again? Why are those persons wearing those silly outfits have been watching you for like forever? Is something wrong mother? You have been not talking to me like you used to.

June 9, 2011

Ma? Why did you wake me up? It's too early, I want to sleep more!

Ma? Ma? What is this feeling? Ma!? I feel strange! Ma?! What is she doing to me? Ma?! Ma?! What is going on?!

Ma? I hope you can hear me. I'm really sorry for making you sick. Don't worry. I know it's not really your fault. I love you Ma. Hope you will get soon and will feed much...much better. It would be nice to see you. But I guess that wouldn't happen. I guess someone has to go, and I think it would be me. It's okay Ma. It's for you own good. I love you Ma. I hope whatever happens to me will make you feel better.

My Last Girlfriend

My little daughter

On a rainy stormy night

Asked me a question

"Did you love someone?"

"Someone before you and Mom?"

"Who was she Daddy?"

Begging for answers

I decided to tell her

Of my last girlfriend

I first met the girl

On a seat right next to mine

Must be destiny

We talked and argued

To the point I decided

She is to be mine

Months of courting her

At last she said the sweet "Yes"

My heart overjoyed

We had our first date

Somewhere up in the mountains

The night sky above

Great was the feeling

The void in my heart she filled

I'm very in love

But fate has conspired

Took away my beloved

My heart bleeding out

Yet our bond was strong

In a short time we were back

Into warm embrace

Days, months and years passed

Our love was getting nowhere

Where will it end up?

On a summer's eve

We were back in the mountain

Where we first dated

I told her the truth

Of wanting to end it all

Her answer, "okay"

I saw the sadness

She asked me why should it end

I just hugged her tight

I showed her the small box

Kneeling down, I opened it

"Will you marry me?"

One strange thing about me o..o

One strange thing about me, I love playing violent computer games like Modern Warfare. For some reason, they also show the horror of war itself.

One strange thing about me, I go to the Business section first when reading a newspaper.

One strange thing about me, I tend to criticize how films are made. Really, the mainstream movies produced by Viva, GMA, Star Magic and others have just become so overrated. 

One strange thing about me, I lost my sexual appetite after being assigned to Mandaue City Hospital. But I did gain the admiration for the ladies who will soon bear the pain of childbirth.

One strange thing about me, I have an orgasm-like reaction whenever I see new concept car being released.

One strange thing about me, I hate dancing and drinking but I want to put up a business like the mO2 restobar in the future.

One strange thing about me, I find motels not as a place for a quickie but a place where I can spend 300 pesos for a few sweet hours of rest.

One strange thing about me, I would pretend to be a Dakar rally driver whenever I drive any motor-powered vehicle.

One strange thing about me, I don’t drink because I might forget something that I should have remembered.

One strange thing about me, I like to think of stalking my crush, Kim Chui. Okay, this is just so not me.

One strange thing about me, I always had this urge to punch someone. Every day, every hour, every minute.

One strange thing about me, I’m “oldschool” when it comes to courting. Selos lang kamo kasi di niyo alam paano gumawa ng isang letter. XD

One strange thing about me, I had fantasies of one day making that XD laser cannon my barkada would use as a figurative expression back in high school.

One strange thing about me, I want the zombie pandemic to happen so that I can finally lose the “Ren” persona and show my “Reaper”/”Monk” side.

One strange thing about me, I once had a crush on a close relative. I didn’t know we were even related during the 45 minutes I talked with her. (Family Code of the Philippines still gives hope though. XD)

One strange thing about me, I am so frugal. A haircut shouldn’t be more than 30 pesos and a shirt should be between 100-200 pesos. And that a single red rose is still the same as a bouquet of roses.

One strange thing about me, I have this obsession for Sisig. This is probably my weakness, coz’ I will do (almost) anything for my beloved Sisig.

One strange thing about me, I steal stuffs so good that most of my friends don’t know I just stole something from them. That and until I tell them, of course.

One strange thing about me, I still can’t get my mind to not think of the girl with almond-shaped eyes that sparkle like diamonds and making me sing "Your Universe". Damn.

One strange thing about me, I never had an absence in my whole college life. (This has now been broken today, LBM :P)

One strange thing about me, I have this feminine side. Which now, I would blame my female cousins for.

One strange thing about me, my eyes would flood whenever I would watch a very sad, emotional movie even though I have watched it for the nth time already. Tease me and you’re dead.

One strange thing about me, I always have this liking for women a little older than me. And by little, I mean like within the 6 year gap.

One strange thing about me, I love history so much I learned that I’m related to a Philippine Revolutionary General assigned to the Panay islands. Astig. No wonder I'm a warfreak.

One strange thing about me, I write stories and stuffs like these because they are the only way I can show what my mind is thinking right now. And also to whom my heart beats right now.

One strange thing about me, I hate school. Wait, I think everyone hates school. And work. And requirements. Definitely the requirements.

One strange thing about me, I’m writing this note on Facebook because…….

What did I write again?

From Megamall to Quiapo :D

Cebu 1.0

Random Thoughts playing to the tune of my heart [October 9,2011

[I looked at her smile from across the room. How I wish those smiles were meant for me.]

I find myself sitting in front of the laptop, trying to finish a story for someone. My mind was going nowhere, no ideas were coming through my head. I was losing it.

.

.

.

.

.

.

See those dots? I am definitely losing it. I haven’t written a story or something for the past few months. Like there was something amiss. Like a vital part of my mind that triggers my urge to write is gone. My inspiration. Gone.

I try to retrace how I first started. First it was for the fun of it. A hobby, so I could do something out of boredom. Then someone came along, opened my mind(and my heart?) to another part of me.

Then it spiraled down. Losing the grip that were my dreams. Losing hope. Waiting in vain. Life is indeed cruel and unfair. And to think the fact we have to live this kind of life everyday.

I tried to play Parokya Ni Edgar’s Sayang and Bamboo’s Masaya. There was still nothing. Before, whenever I play songs like these, I could make a story out of the songs. Now, I only hear the emptiness of my heart echoing in my ears like the sound of waves you hear inside an empty shell.

I opened the story file and scanned through it. It wasn’t worth the post. It never will be.

[Cathy couldn’t help herself but cry. She was losing someone she loved. She holds his hand tight while shouting to his beloved to live. She felt the hands slowly getting cold and her hopes beginning to fade.]

I could hear the waves and the soft sand in my feet.

[The cold metal begins to tempt me. Death calls for my name. She promises peace. A world where there are no more pain, anger and betrayal. ]

Its 5 minutes to 7 in the morning. Breakfast is being prepared. I try to make a life/love/inspirational text message to her. Making it look like a group message, even if it wasn’t. But I erased what I wrote and browsed my outbox. I picked one of those annoying funny quotes I get each day from a friend from Bacolod. I clicked forward and sent.

I wait, hoping for a reply. Fifteen minutes has passed she must still be asleep. I opened a .doc file listing my plan for the next 6 months. I still wonder if I can do it all. But nonetheless, I must, the future is uncertain a friend of mine once told. Or was it from the first Terminator movie.

[She looked pretty in her two-piece swimsuit. I try to humor her, singing Kjwan’s “One Look” as she walks towards me.]

My phone vibrates saying I got a message but it wasn’t from her.

[“Maybe we should end this,” the guy in the black jacket tells her girlfriend.

The girl jerks a tear and asked him. “Why?”

“I’m getting tired, we should. End this.” He says with a blunt face.]

I scanned our Med-Surg notes again. Just one major to go and we’ll be done. The rest of the week would just be signing for our clearance, paying my dues and the sembreak outings I will go to. Damn. Head is aching again.

[Are you an angel? Could you tell me why I find peace when I think of you? Why my heart beats differently when I'm with you?  Some say these are just feelings I must ignore. Unnecessary feelings I cannot control. You are different. I could have easily forgotten the things I did, the feelings I felt. For you. I do not wish for you to be my girlfriend.

I want you to be my wife. I want you to be my future. My love.]

7:25a.m.

Calling you a friend seems to sound better I guess. I never thought I could feel something like this towards someone like you. But I have to set it aside. Knowing that going through could lead to my end.

---------------------------------------------------Shutting Down-------------------------------------------------------------

Deadmahan

I love her almond-shaped eyes

Shining shimmering

When I look at her

From across the room

I love her luscious sweet lips

Sweet as strawberry

Soft like marshmallows

Her kiss a gold’s worth

I love her swaying hair

Dancing to the wind

Soft like a pillow

And with a scent too

I love her brown birthmark

Just below her hips

Almost a heart-shaped

Yet still a masterpiece

And this is the part where I end the good things I can say about her. From this point on, the things I’m gonna say are the bad things about her.

I hate her almond-shaped eyes

Glittering again

Does she even know?

How it ruins my eye?

I hate her luscious sweet lips

So full of sugar

You’d either be hyperglycemic

Or dead

I hate her swaying hair

Always a nuisance

when riding the jeepney

beside and behind her

I hate her brown birthmark

Shaped like a heart

Or is it just a blot?

Trying to be an artist?

HMPPH is her response. What does it even mean??

Love her.

Correction. Loved her.

Hate her.

Picture picture

Pictures are memories capturing that one moment in our lives. Candid or posed, it simply freezes that moment. Be it just jamming with your friends or asking that crush of yours that you’ve been ogling for a while during your JS Prom.

It was almost 7 years ago when I had my first camera. It was a 2004 Sony camcorder. I was the first in our batch to have one that doesn’t need a film. These were the days when people still used cameras with films.

So there I was, I would bring it to school almost everyday during the last months of elementary. Taking pictures of my classmates and then saving it to our old PC. Really took a lot of pictures back then, even videos. I was also into editing but simple edits and cuts only.

I don’t know what happened to all the files. If I remember right, the old CPU was either washed away during the Frank incident or it must be that old CPU I found just laying there in our basement but not bothered to open as I am just too lazy.

Then 2008 came with my Canon iXY camera. It was bought from Japan and it was not yet sold here in the Philippines until the next few months. It was my last year in high school and I religiously tried to record all happenings in school. Thus, becoming somewhat an “official” photographer.

A shot there and there. Some poses and some jumps. My creativity was endless with the camera. And I even came to know her.

She became my model. Letting me take shots of her from different angles and poses. She even came to like my way of taking a shot of her without asking. (I show her the pics after and I would just be ogling at the pics for the rest of the day  ) I might even have a hundred photos of her saved in that old CPU and multiple photo accounts I have been using before but not bothered to open (I forgot some of the username and passwords).

But that was high school.

This 2011, as I wait for my baby D, I hope I can find another one like her.

Not exactly like her. But someone who’ll just smile at the camera as I freeze that moment I am with her.

Three in the afternoon

It was three in the afternoon. The light from outside enters the lobby, striking her face and making her look more angelic. As she reads her big Human Anatomy book, I can’t help myself but look at her perfect almond-shaped eyes as she scanned each pages. Her hair glides with the summer breeze and with this the thought of how soft it might be. I felt an attraction, a very strange attraction. She looked at me from across the lobby, I looked away and pretended to take out a piece of paper from my bag.

Did she saw me stare at her? I must have looked like a pervert. What the hell was I thinking? Staring at her for over a minute is just plain weird and creepy!

I tried to regain my composure. Must I look back? What if she was still looking at me?

I tried to remember her face. Yes. The almond-shaped eyes. The thick, black, silky and probably soft hair. Her lips? I still haven’s seen her lips.

I was now tempted. I must look back. I must. But I was afraid. She might think I’m a stalker or something.

I looked back. And as predicted she was still staring at me. I wished she wasn’t looking at me.

She smiled. Her lips gave a smile. Cherry red lips gave a smile.

She faced her book again. I gave a sigh. Was she smiling at me? I wished it was me.

I stood up from the bench where I was sitting and slowly approached her. My heart was thumping. Faster and faster it goes. My mind was not thinking well. My eyes were focused on her. I must talk to her. I must know her name.

“REN!!”, I heard someone call out my name. I looked back and saw a classmate of mine, Fatima. I then remembered why I was at school.

I turned around and walked towards her. I reached into her plastic bag of french fries and grabbed a handful. “Sheet oi! Nalimut ko sa guidebook ko!”

A Night to Remember

I woke up Saturday noon from a whole night of hanging out with friends. The fun last night was all I can think of. I grabbed for my cellphone and texted her.

“Really had fun last night.  “

————————————————————————————————————

It was an event I must never be absent from. The last party of the year.

Our college department held this year’s Christmas Party in the Roof deck of a big mall. There were the usual games, food, dance numbers and the main event, the pre-elimination for the Ms. Valentines for this school year.

The party was a blast, in a way, but none compared to what we had next.

My block section had been planning on having an after party after our department’s one for weeks.

And here is where I start.

The place was the usual hangout for the adrenaline pumped youths. It was where the newest music and mixes were being played. With each beat vibrating the very soul of the people inside. People were dancing to it.

And how can one forget the drinks? There they were. Tower of beers for all. With mugs already filled to the brim. Now it was a party.

A party.

I just sat at our table for a couple of hours. Taking small sips of beer when my friends would pass it around. I’m not the one who drinks a lot. I’m not even the one who drinks at all. But tonight I decided to try it with a thought of the word control in mind.

As I watched the people sway their body to the music, a familiar voice asked me. “Hey! Do I look drunk?”

I looked at the person who was asking me. And there she stood, lady wearing her black spaghetti top and blue jeans(our Christmas party was denim-themed). “Huh?” I asked as if I was deaf to the music being played so loud.

“Do I look drunk?” she asked again.

I looked at her almond-shaped eyes which sparkled every time she blinked.

“No, actually you looked lively tonight.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yeah, but you do look tired”

“I guess so,” she smiled.

Damn I miss that smile!!

“Well, two hours of dancing can really make you tired. Here, have a seat.”

“Thanks,” she said as she sat down and took the beer mug which was just in front of me.

“You look beautiful tonight She.”

She blushed(or perhaps it was just the effect of the alcohol just drank).

“Thanks, well you also look good yourself.”

And that was it. The birth(or perhaps the rebirth) of a conversation.

We talked the whole night. About the things that happened this year. The things we expect for next year. We talked and talked. If you only knew how glad I am to talk with you again.

——————————————————————————————

It took five minutes before I received her reply.

“Ha? Sorry..hehe…medyo may hangover pa. Ei ano ba gamot sa hangover? I feel like I’m gonna puke.”

How could I have forgotten. She vomited that night even before we talked. She might have drank more than the mug she took from me.

I replied back. “Go out and breathe the fresh air. Kinda helps me when I feel kinda sick in the head. ^__^”

I’m still glad though. To have that small chat with you.